Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
