I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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