But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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