he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
