I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
More tranny stories later!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
