You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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