Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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