Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They are going to name an STD after you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Text me some of your sweat
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
