Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
