the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
