just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fuck appropriateness.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
