I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
