no more duck duck goose at the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you never un-have a 4some
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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