she was so not down for the gang bang
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
