Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
