I wanna bring you to show and tell
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
