And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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