I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
