At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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