Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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