my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
