That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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