I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
