Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think people are normalizing furries
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
