This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
