I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
