it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
