Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You smell like stripper and shame
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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