Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
