this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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