His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
