I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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