i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
