HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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