Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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