I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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