I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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