then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
