We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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