Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
