the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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