do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
