I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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