It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
