She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
