Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
