I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
