Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He better not be in your backpack
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
