I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
