Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
